Coincidence or God??

I have to admit...this really freaked me out and I still have goose bumps. Okay, Saturday, I received an email from my SIL with the following slide show:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIQZ0ZkQYRc

I was really touched by it and asked Nolan and Taylor to watch it as well. Because I'm a great believer in things being "meant to be" and also the mysterious ways in which God works in our lives. Well, I have been in the process of finding and changing doctors (our family practice doctor). It has been a long and difficult decision because I do love our doctor...but over the years his practice has grown imensely and he has joined two large practices/clinics. I have dealt with it for many years because I like Dr. K...I could even put up with the large practice/multiple doctors thing except for Dr. K's nurses and the method in which they operate or not. Without going into specifics, it's just gotten to a point that I no longer trust the staff. I have lost all confidence in them and felt it was just time to move on.

So, after meeting with the new doctor (Dr. T) several weeks ago...we decided to give him a try. I've spent the last few weeks working on filling out 5 new patient packets. I finally returned them to Dr. T's office last week. Well, Wednesday morning I received a call from Dr. T's office. On the records release form, I just listed the name of the clinic and she needed to know which doctor...so I told her it was Dr. K. So Wed. night, I had the strangest dream that Dr. K called me and was very upset that we were leaving the practice (as he's been our family physician for 10+ yrs)...he also told me in the dream that his wife had left him. I remember in the dream just feeling terrible about it. I began searching for his phone number (Dr. K actually gave me his personal cell phone number a few years ago in case I needed to reach him...I have never called him, but I still have the sticky note that it was written on)...this is the same note I was looking for in the dream. Anyway, yesterday morning, I had told Nolan about the dream before he left for work. I figured I had dreamed about Dr. K because of Dr. T's office inquiring about him.

Thursday morning, I had just got done working out and was checking my email when my cell phone started ringing. I didn't recognize the number, but it was a local number. When I answered it, it was Dr. K...OMG, I think my jaw musta hit the floor. I never in a million years expected him to call...and having just had a dream that he called really freaked me out. He was super nice and said he just wanted to make sure that he hadn't done anything, etc...to make us leave. I assured him that our leaving had nothing to do with him personally or professionally, but rather it was based on the office situation (I didn't really elaborate)...anyway, I felt as though I was babbling (which I'm sure I was as I was so caught off guard). Anyway, he said that Dr. T is great and if there was ever anything we need to let him know. Of course after we hung up...I was a blubbering idiot. I called Nolan crying because I felt so bad. At the moment, I'm working on a letter to Dr. K. I want to thank him for many, many years of service and to again reassure him that it has nothing to do with him. Since he inquired, I may also explain some of the things with the office that are concerning to me.

Gosh, I feel like I'm divorcing my doctor...it's hard because I don't want to have to "start over" with someone new...but on the other hand, I've lost all my faith and confidence in Dr. K's office. I really feel stuck between a rock and a hard place...but ultimately, I have to do what I feel's best for myself and my family.

Wednesday Weigh-In...

Well...this morning's "weigh in" was not what I had hoped for (up one pound), rats!! I'm not ususally a "whiner", but I really wanna whine right now ((having tantrum on floor)) LOL! Okay...I'm over it, I must be realistic. One, Aunt Martha is ringing the doorbell and so I know I'm most likely retaining a little water. Two, clothes are fitting looser. In fact, I tried on a pair of size 14 jeans this morning and they fit. I know I tried these same pants on last summer and couldn't even get the button bottoned. Three, muscle is denser than fat. While a pound is a pound is a pound...muscle just takes up less space than fat. So, while I may have lost a pound of fat and gained a pound of muscle (effectively cancelling each other out), since the muscle is denser (more compact) it's taking up less space and that accounts for inches lost even though the scale hasn't budged much.

I really wish I would have taken my measurements when I started this journey so that I could compare numbers (I'm gonna do that today so I'll have the numbers for later). So...while my ego wants to see 155 on the scale...my rational mind knows that progress is happening and that while the scale may not say 155 (yet), I am so much healthier than I was just 7 short weeks ago. My legs are strong...my stamina and endurance grows each day...and overall, I'm feeling good about my self for the first time in a really long time! Good things come to those who wait...

A wonderful new discovery...

Sunbutter!! Like peanut butter, only better! I was doing some "googling" on peanut allergies as our kids' elementary school has become completely "nut free"...if only they would ban the "real" nuts, LOL...anyway, the information/statistics that I found were truly amazing. Some 3.3 million people suffer from "nut" allergies, yet less than 150 people die annually from "nut" reactions. I think I even read somewhere that more people are attacked by sharks and struck by lightening than suffer a fatal nut reaction. The stories just went on and on and on...While I'm not completely heartless (though a bit cynical at times), I can understand parents with kids who have nut allergies being concerned for their child...however, I'm beginning to wonder if this craze of elliminating all nuts and providing "nut free" schools hasn't maybe gone a little outer limits here. I mean what about children with other allergies?? You don't see school's going "milk free" or "wheat free"...

I can understand parents, students, teachers, classmates and even schools in general taking reasonable precautions such as providing a "nut free" table in the cafeteria (to avoid cross contamination)...having students wash hands before and after eating (which they should do anyway), etc...but to make the entire school "nut free" just seems extreme to me. I happen to have a nephew who's allergic to peanuts (since he was a toddler...he's now almost 21)...I think my sister took reasonable measures (Texas Roadhouse was always out of the picture since their floors and tables are littered with peanuts and peanut shells). When preparing foods that called for nuts...she would make a small amount for him before adding nuts, etc...seemed reasonable. I mean if schools are going to go "nut free" then next movie theaters, malls, airplanes, hotels, etc...will have to follow suit. Then where will it end? Will we soon be living in a "nut free" world? It seems the world is trying to accomodate those with special diets rather than those with special diets trying to adapt to the world. I'm sure eventually someone will complain enough about TRH til they place a ban on one of their biggest draws: peanuts. Really...isn't it more about common sense? I mean, if you're allergic to peanuts, do NOT go to Texas Road House for dinner, nuff said.

I can see in daycare, preschool and even kindergarten situations remaining nut free as small kids are always touching everything and putting their hands in their mouths, etc...but by 1st, 2nd grade, I think kids are old enough to be instructed and taught how to deal with this issue (whether it's the child that's allergic or the fellow students).

Anyway, while reading all this info I came across many references to Sunbutter as an alternative to peanut butter. I have to admit I was intrigued...so tonight after Paige's dance, since we were in town, I decided to run over to the Vitamin Cottage/health foods store to see if I could find some Sunbutter. Indeed I did. Paige and I had an interesting conversation about "butters". I explained to her that there are many types of "butters". Peanut butter, almond butter, cashew butter, soy butter, etc...and that the Sunbutter was actually made from sunflower seeds. Of course when we got home, I grabbed a couple spoons and we gave it a taste. To my surprise, it really tasted yummy. So now...once again, they may take an American favorite to school. I'm curious to see how it will taste with jelly (though personally, I like my peanut butter with honey).

There. I'm doing my part to keep not only the school happy, but my kids happy too! I've heard that Sunbutter cookies are delicious, LOL!!

Beautiful day in the neighborhood...

Well, I guess that's Mr. Roger's line, but...wow...what a beautiful morning! In fact, it was so nice after I walked the kids to the bus stop that I decided to do my walk outside today. Fortunately for me, the McCulloch Trail is exactly 2 miles long...so there and back is my 4 miles. However...there were a "few" hills (not something I'm used to walking on my treadmill, LOL as I never adjust the incline). Hmmmm...*note to self* next time, park at Sweetwater (bottom of hill) instead of golf course (top of hill). Yeah, I had never walked the full trail til today and that's when I realized that mile 1 is relatively flat (few small hills)...then mile 2 is almost all downhill...so, after walking two miles, I had to turn around and walk 1 mile completely uphill. Boy, I could really feel it in my hamstrings and butt. I've heard of "buns of steel"...but heck...if I keep walking this trail, I'm gonna have "buns of titanium" LOL! Lesson learned...

Other than that...it was a really refreshing walk! It was a mild 45 degrees...not a cloud in the sky...and for once, the prairie winds were not blowing, LOL. My tunes were blasting on my iPod...the warm sun shining on my face, surrounded by the majestic Rocky Mountains (many like Pike's Peak still snow capped...what a difference a few thousand feet makes) and the cool air breezing past my body as I briskly walked the trail! Came home and had a yummy breakfast of raisin bread toast with light cream cheese and a bowl of fresh blueberries! My brother's house is exactly 3 miles from mine...so I might walk to his house on Saturday morning for coffee!

Lord knows I love my treadmill, but it's nice to be outside once in a while too

It's week 8 already!

Just began week 8 in the fitness journey (woohoo)!! Four miles is getting much easier now. My feet are feeling better (thanks to many foot rubs by my honey) after having some pain in my arches! Yesterday (Sunday) was my REST day and my left knee was hurting so bad (just out of the blue) that I could barely get up and down the stairs. Strangely enough, the pain vanished today as quickly as it had began...it hasn't bothered me all day (which is good). This is my last week of "just" walking. Next week, the "real" work begins when I start adding some weight lifting and functional exercises.

One of the next goals I'm going to set is to try and start getting up earlier. For now, I want to try and get in 2 miles before I have to get the kids off to school then do the other two miles after. Eventually, I'd like to try and get my workout completely done before the kids get up. This is going to be quite a challenge as I am not a morning person, LOL...I'm very much a night owl. While I do (have to) get up in the morning, I don't really "wake" up til sunset! That's another thing...this darn "second wind" of mine. I always seem to be dragging in the mid afternoon...yet sometime around 7 pm...I get a second wind. Now here it is almost midnight, and I'm going strong. I know one of my problems is that darn Diamond Iced tea...Yeah, it's sweet tea (sugarfree of course), but it's the caffeine that's doing a number on me, uhhhhggg! I'm gonna have to give up the Diamond and start making the Celestial Seasonings Caffeine-Free iced tea and add my own Splenda...so I can enjoy it all day (and night) long!

Speaking of Oscars...can you believe my boyfriend (Daniel Craig aka James Bond 007) had the nerve to take another woman to the Academy Awards??? Hmmmmm...some people, LOL! I actually didn't see the show (as we were out for Taylor's Bday dinner) but, I really only like to see the fashions...which is what I'm doing now...well simutaniously as I'm typing here, I've got my eye on E's fashion police for 2009 Academy Awards. Some celebs look stunning...but others...wow, you wonder...did they look in the mirror before they walked out the door?? LOL Well, there's always next year!!

Third time's a charm...

At least that's what they say, LOL!! Well...I had wanted to take Taylor to see Jack's Mannequin, but after numerous emails and phone calls with Live Nation and the Fillmore Auditorium...it was finally established that NO one under 16 is allowed in (not even with an accompanying parent). Originally thought that perhaps it was 16+ to attend without parent/guardian...but according to the gal I spoke with (finally a live person), it's the artists who set the age limits. So...short of getting her a fake ID (yes, everyone must have ID to enter)...there is just no way to get her in. She was a little disappointed (though she and I did see JM back in 2006 at Magness Arena)...Anyway, I decided that I still wanted to see them...so I bought tickets today. This is the same venue that we saw them again in 2007 and got caught up in mosh pit mayhem. Though JM is very mellow (I like to call them a "piano band"), the mosh pit incident occurred during one of the opening acts. See, here's the thing...for the life of me, I can't remember exactly how...but some how when I bought the tickets (I believe it was thru the fan club site in a pre-sale), I ended up with meet and greet passes. OMG, this is my favorite band, so to get M&Gs were really awesome. Well, we had taken Nolan's son/gf and stopped in Castle Rock to eat...well, unfortunately, we got stuck in rush hour traffic and missed the M&G...ummmm, I was a little upset...Okay, I was pretty pissed...but hey, spilled milk, whatcha gonna do? Anyway, we still got in early (before the general admission)...so we got a spot real close to the stage. The fillmore is a very old roller skating rink that was converted into any number of businesses over the years. Anyway, the floor (general admission) is open and standing room only (no chairs/seating). Then there's an area that goes around the floor (several feet higher) in which there is table seating, bar area, etc...

Well, needless to say...I spent a few bucks more to get us table seating as I do not want to stand the entire time or go thru that "floor" experience again. What happened when we were there in 2007 was like I said, we got in early and were able to secure spots very close to the stage (about 10 ft. back). Anyway, the first opening band (Get Back Loretta, I think was the name) came out and played. They were pretty "alternative" but pretty good music. Everything was cool...we're enjoying the show...drinking our beers, etc...Next band comes out...and for the life of me, don't remember their name (I think due to trauma, I probably blocked it out, LOL). They were very unlike the first opening band or JM....hard to describe, but I would call them like "acid rock"...just screamers...horrible, horrible...I wouldn't even call it music, but anyway...All of a sudden...a group of people from the back of the auditorium (probably 50 or so) formed some kind of "V" and rushed the stage...we all went flying several feet from where we were standing as we never saw or heard it coming. In the process...I spilled my beer on one of the guys who rushed us and he began yelling at me "...you spilled your beer on my shirt..." and I'm like, "...dude, you ran into me, remember?..." then J and him were starting to get into it and then Nolan jumped in all the while, after this "rush" thing, the area around the stage (where we were) was like being in the firey pits of hell, LOL...people slamming into one another, throwing things, etc...just mass mayhem. Nolan was like, "...we've got to get off this floor..."...so, slowly...we inched our way horizontally until we reached the stairs to go up on the outer level. I can laugh about it now, but at the time, it was seriously scary. I lost my camara too (found it after the show, but it was smashed to smitherines).

So...we find a standing area above the handicap accessable area. At that point, I excused myself to the restroom, where I had a little mini "break down" LOL. I just sat on the toilet bawling my eyes out. First we missed the M&G and I was so disappointed...and then the "riot" incident. So, after about 5 minutes of sobbing...I put my big girl panties on and went back out to the concert. At this point, we were standing there watching the concert (from the side...nice thing about the FA, it's small enough that no matter where you are, you've got a pretty good view)...anyway, I look down and see this little teenage girl in an electric wheelchair. The back of her wheelchair is covered with stickers (both words and pictures)...however, the main sticker on her chair said..."It's all good" (that was the first time I'd ever heard/read that expression) and realized...wow, if this poor girl in a wheel chair can have such an awesome attitude...then so can I...and from that moment on, we enjoyed the show (from the sidelines, LOL).

So, IDK...maybe I have to prove to myself that I'm not going to be afraid or intimidated by the Fillmore, LOL...but just to be on the safe side, I went with the (little bit more expensive) table seating!! The show's on April 10th (Friday night) so of course, I gotta see if Clay and Tim are up for a little Denver adventure,LOL!!

Happy Birthday Taylor Tot!!

Well...today's Miss Taylor's 15th Birthday! Hard to believe it's been fifteen years since my first pink "bundle of joy" arrived! Awwww...but I remember it like it was yesterday! I had been at my regular weekly appt. the day before and had been experiencing some PIH the last few weeks. Dr. M said we should just go ahead and induce tomorrow (2-22-94), which also happened to be my due date! My sister had come down from Boulder the past weekend (hoping to be present for the birth) and luckily, she stayed...so, the night before, she rented a movie (The Secret Garden)...we watched the movie and also went and got banana splits from Dairy Queen, LOL. I barely slept that night as I was a bundle of nerves. We got up bright and early the next morning to be at the hospital around 8 am. After being admitted and getting everything set up, I think it was about 9:30 am when Dr. M came in and broke my water and the induction began.

After 3 LONG hours of pitocin ((ouch)), I was finally ready to push. I got a pudendal block (which really only numbs the outer regions of the "area" LOL) and is given just minutes before delivery. It did help (slightly), but I still felt EVERYTHING!! At 12:40 pm...Miss Taylor Caroline came into this world a whopping 8 lbs 12 oz...she was indeed a little "butterball"! Dr. M said (as he was wiping her off), "...boy, she's big enough to ask for the car keys..." LOL and ironically, now she is asking for the car keys, LOL! Because she's enrolled in Driver's Ed, she is able to get her driver's permit at 15...so in the next couple of weeks, we'll be down at the DMV and I won't be sleeping again for oh....the next 80 yrs or so, LOL!!

I was so happy that my sister got to be there and experience a live birth as her first baby was born emergency c-section (she never even got to experience one contraction) and then her next baby was a scheduled c-section...so, I think it was special to her as well!

One of these days when I figure out how to get her birth tape put on to dvd, I might be able to share it! It's rather amusing (and shot from a "rated pg" angle)...mostly watching Nolan as this was his first birth attendance (when K & J were born, husbands weren't allowed in the delivery room)...anyway, some of his expressions are truly priceless!









We had a nice dinner at Texas Roadhouse!

Cracker Barrel Virgin??

Yeah...I know one LOL, well...I used to anyway. My good buddy Tim was a Cracker Barrel Virgin until yesterday. I was talking to him last week when I mentioned that I had been over at Kohl's (my favorite store BTW)...and had stopped in at Cracker Barrel to get an order to go and to get a few Valentine goodies for the kids. I tell ya...that gift shop they have is an extremely dangerous place for me LOL as I love "country" and it's just full of the cutest stuff. Oh...well (got off track there LOL)...Tim was like "...they have a gift shop?..." and I said, "...please don't tell me you've never been to Cracker Barrel..." and he gives me his usual "...I'm just a country hick and I don't get to the big city, blah, blah, blah...", Well...Pueblo isn't exactly what I would consider a "big" city, but being as he lives in Canon City I guess it is "big" to him. Then he procedes to give me crap for not inviting him to lunch...so I told him I was gonna take him to lunch next week (this was last week). Anyway, yesterday, Nolan was going to lunch with AW from CNG so he says that I ought to take Tim to lunch...so I called him up and told him we were going to Cracker Barrel and that he's been a CB virgin far too long LOL!

When we got there (and just so there's no speculation...we were in separate vehicles)...I was, of course, in my "element" of shopping bliss...but he was having none of that LOL! Anyway, I already knew what I was having as I always order the same thing every time (Chicken & Dumplings...okra...fried apples and sweet tea). He ordered the exact same thing. He loved the food, but wowza...he was a tad on the crabby side...some of which I already knew about (via Nolan)...but I think for Tim, I'm a safe person to "vent" to because having worked there, I have a sense of what's going on and being a woman, it's okay for him to vent (where as there's things at work that he would probably never tell Nolan about...men just don't normally vent to each other in my experience)...anyway, I listened intently and then moved the conversation along to less "agitating" subjects. Sheesh, all I have to say is "Rubber Toe" and he'll crack up...he's so easy to make laugh!

Anyway, he wouldn't let me buy and so he put it on the company cc (fine by me, I figure they owe me a few lunches, LOL)...anyway, it was fun!

Blessing in disguise??

Well...while walking on my trusty old treadmill this morning...something occurred to me. About my job (or former job)...Even though it (the job) was a PITA, I was really devestated to have been laid off. For nearly two years, I put my heart and soul into that job...creating the entire Atmos system, not to mention...helping Nolan with the Xcel and Colorado Natural Gas invoices/billing. Yeah...it was just your basic clerk work, but I think for me the satisfaction came from creating a "system" of logging, tracking and billing all the Atmos work...making something where there once was "nothing", kwim? That along with the relationships that were created with the Superintendents and foreman (and some laborers too)...I did my best to make everyone feel at ease since they were working with the boss's wife...so other than that one person at the office, it was all good. So, losing all that (not to mention the income) left me in a "funk" for sure.

I'm constantly telling others to "change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change..." yet, I was failing to follow my own advice, until today. As I was walking along, I was thinking about my workouts and finally beginning to see a "change" and how great I was feeling about that...when I realized that if I were still working, no way would I have time or energy to put in 4 miles a day. Not to say it would be impossible, but it would have been very difficult. While I could work on invoices and such during the evening hours, I was basically "on call" all day long...if Tim or Nolan or anyone from the office needed something, I had to stop what I was doing to take care of it, kwim? So having lost my job has actually helped me gain the time and energy to work on, well...ME! I have sacrificed and put everyone else's needs before my own for decades now...well, now it's my turn to invest a little time (and distance LOL) on myself.

Along with all that, I also realized that I would have never been able to "quit" this job...I couldn't have just walked away from my husband (boss) and left him and Tim in a pickle...so in a sense, I was really trapped in that job...but having been laid off is kind of my "out" to pursue other things (such as my fitness stuff and going back to school this fall). Having not held a job since 1993, the experience I got was invaluable (just in case I need to get an emergency job) and the extra income really saved us when gasoline was soooo high and we lucked out with Nolan's bonus and were able to pay off 30k in cc debt. So...at the time, the job was a blessing in more ways than one...but now I can see that not having the job is just as much the blessing (in disguise) LOL!

Another Pound down!!

Woo Hoo...today's Wednesday "Weigh-In" and I'm down one pound...bringing my total loss to 4 pounds. While 4 pounds may not seem like a lot, to me it's great progress. My goal is to lose 1 to 2 pounds per week for a slow, healthy weight (fat) loss as I don't want to end up with a bunch of loose, saggy skin (typically seen with rapid weight loss...ie, gastric bypass). At one pound per week, I should hit my weight goal near the end of the summer. I do not want to put too much emphysis on the scale as it's just one indicator of weight loss. The idea is to not just lose "weight" but rather to lose "fat". For the scale, it can't differentiate between fat loss, water loss, muscle loss, etc...so I don't put all my hope into the scale...I think seeing a difference in how my clothes are fitting is a much better indicator...though I have to admit, after all my hard work, it's nice to be seeing the scale finally going "down", LOL!!

Girls day out...

I had a great day with Taylor!! She had a hair appt. at McCall's Salon at 10 am (so no school for her today...freeday, LOL)...anyway, Shelby did a layered cut and she did a dark brunette underneath (and some thru out) and then just a few strawberry blond hi-lites...it really turned out cute, cute, cute!! Then we went to Magpies for lunch and it was ohhhh sooooo yummy...I was good and had a veggie sandwich (Taylor had the Scream Cheeseburger...a burger with cream cheese and green chiles)...I did have a bite of T's and it was very yummy too! And for dessert (I know I shouldn't have but...) T had the cheesecake with strawberries and I had the Italian Gelato which was coffee/mocha flavored...and I have to say, it was delish as well. It's bad cause tomorrow is Wednesday "weigh-in" and I've missed two workouts (Saturday and today). Paige has dance at 5:30 pm and if I'm not too tired, I'll try to at least get a couple miles in tonight...if not, oh well...there's always next week, LOL! I've got a 15 bean soup on the stove and I just need to make some cornbread when we get back and we're good to go for dinner! I made lasagna last night and there was just 4 of us soooo, there's about 2/3 of it left and I'm sure there'll be soup leftover...I might not have to cook for a couple days, LOL!! That, or I might bop up to see Dad and bring some leftovers for him and Kay!

The Melting Pot experience...

Ahhhh...The Melting Pot!!

Wow...where shall I begin?? Valentine's Day was awesome! Though we had agreed on no gifts this year (between Nolan and I) because we were having an expensive meal, he just had to come up with something, LOL...so, here's the sweet card he gave me...




And this little dog who flaps his ears and wags his tail to the tune of Donna Summer's "Hot Stuff"...too cute. Zoey's afraid of it though and hides under the bed whenever it starts "singing" LOL !

Well, we left here around 1 pm and arrived in Louisville (at the Melting Pot) just a little after 3 pm. Our reservations were for 3:30, but we only sat in the lounge for maybe 5 minutes. The restaurant was in a really neat old building in the historic part of Louisville...so it had a lot of charm. Anyway, we were seated in a booth that had velvet drapes surrounding it and there were shelves between all the booths that were lined with bottles of colored water that really looked cool as the light from the booth behind them shined thru. We had an awesome waiter...and he started us of with a cheese fondue appetizer. The tables had a built in burner with a metal pot on it. He poured in lager beer...mixed in some green chiles, diced tomato, baby shrimp and a mixture of shredded cheeses. He mixed it all up right there at the table. When it was ready, he brought a selection of bread cubes (white, rosemary, pumpernickel, etc.) as well as, fresh veggies and granny smith apples. OMG...it was sooooo yummy.

Next we had a choice of salads the house salad or California style. I had the California...which was a bed of baby greens, black walnuts, feta cheese and a raspberry vinaigrette...again, just delicious!

For our main course...the waiter brought a platter of raw meats (lobster, crab, chicken, filet mignon, buffalo, white shrimp, etc.). With this, they bring out a pot of boiling herbal liquid (more like the consistancy of a broth). Most of the meat items cook in 1 1/2 to 2 minutes in this broth. He also brought a bowl of veggies (potatoes, mushroom, broccoli) which we just dumped into the broth. We each had 2 skewers, so we'd cook to types of meats and while we were eating those, we get to more going in the pot. For the cooked meat, he brought out 6 different sauces to dip into (a cocktail sauce, terriaki, port wine, green goddess, sweet & sour plum, and a honey mustard). It was a lot of fun trying the different meats with different sauces.

Then for the dessert course...he brought a pot of milk chocolate. He added chopped hazelnuts and a dash of Frangelico. With this came a tray of yummy things to dip in the chocolate sauce (strawberries, bananas, pound cake, marshmallows, cheescake, rice krispies treats, etc.)...OMG, it was so delish! With our dessert we were given a glass of champagne and we got to keep the champagne glasses as a Valentine's treat. I wondered how one could actually get "full" eating fondue...but we were stuffed. It was just a great day! It was kinda funny as on the way up to Louisville...we were driving along and I was doing my usual "singing" to all my favorite songs when Nolan asked, "what exactly is fondue??" OMG, I about busted a gut laughing...guess he wanted to know for sure what exactly he was getting into, LOL !! We got back home around 8...so the 3:30 dinner time actually worked out pretty good in the end!

Happy "Hearts" Day!!

Happy Valentine's Day!! I don't really know why I love this holiday so much. I think it started in pre-school or at least that's when I first remember becoming aware of this holiday full of hearts and candy. Unfortunately, after a big build up to this grand event, I got the chicken pox as did my buddy Todd (who lived next door...his mom took us to PS and my mom picked us up) so needless to say...after a week's absence, I returned to PS to find a huge bag of Valentine's cards (that was back in the day when the kid's Valentines actually had little envelopes) and candy. One thing I remember in particular was a red candy lipstick...wow, I had never seen anything like it. Then fast forward to my first Valentine's with Nolan and how Valentines went on for 5 days with notes and gifts...something I'll never forget. So...yeah, I guess I'm just a sentimental "schlup" LOL...but every year I always get my little Valentine's (aka Kids) a little bag full of LOVE! Nolan and I aren't exchanging gifts this year as we're going to Denver to have a romantic dinner at the Melting Pot (we've never been before)...so it should be an adventure. Our reservations are at 3:30 to 5:30 pm so we should be home around 8pm. Sister is bringing Evan here so she and BIL can deal with his dad (Jim Harley) sometime today and thru the weekend, so hopefully he'll be on his best behavior. I already told her that we won't be here for the better part of the day and Taylor will be babysitting...if Evan acts up, Taylor cannot cope with him...he'll have to leave (go to my brother's house or something)...but hopefully everything will go smoothly. She wasn't even sure what time they'd be coming down from Boulder (like that's any different than any other time...I swear, I do not know how these people function when they are unable or refuse to commit to anything or at the very least have a rough schedule)...anyway, we're planning on leaving around 12:30 (it's a good 2 1/2 hour drive and it's snowing in some areas along the I-25 corridor so we want to have plenty of time).

Wednesday Weigh-In...

Success...finally!! After working out for 5 long weeks, I'm down 3 lbs!! Woo Hoo...this is very exciting for me to finally see the fruits of my labor (walking 24 miles a week is not easy)!! Not only does it give me hope that my goal is within reach, but it's given my motivation a ginormous boost!! I'm only aiming for losing at least 1 pound per week...so anything beyond that is just "bonus". I'm hoping to reach my goal by summer's end and hopefully also have some awesome looking legs for summer wear! Nolan and everyone has been so supportive and helping me stay on track. Diet wise, I'm not doing a whole lot in that area other than trying to cut my portions down (the life veggie soup is really helping at least with the evening meal), making sure I eat breakfast, cutting down alcohol consumption down by about 75% (only having drinks or a beer once a week, twice at the most...it's really helped that Nolan has nearly quit drinking all together), being sensible with sweets (ie, having a half slice of cake instead of 3 pieces, choosing fruit instead of cookies, pie, etc.)...so it's not a "diet" per se...but just trying to make some subtle changes. I am a bit of a "carbaholic" and have always craved carbs (the bad kind), but the more I do without the cookies, rolls, etc...the more I don't even miss them! Well...off to work out!!

My FIRST child was born on this day!

Then:

Now:



Wow...it's hard to believe that it's been 23 yrs since my life "began"...He made me a "mom" and my heart began the most amazing journey. Born James Josef on 02-09-86 and weighing a whopping 8 lbs 7 oz. (my butterball LOL), he changed my life forever. I don't know what I'd be without him! Little did I know back then, that I would learn more from him than he would from me. So to my sweet brown-eyed boy...have a Happy, Happy 23 rd Birthday!!

Loves & Hugs,

Mom~

Reverse Anorexia Syndrome??

Bet ya never heard of it, huh? LOL Well, I actually thought that I had "made up" that term...but to my surprise...someone beat me to it! Okay, but seriously...either I have some kinda "magic" mirror or I am suffering from some form of RAS (reverse anorexia syndrome). Before I explain, I must put in a disclaimer: that is not me in the photo and there's no such thing as magic mirrors! So, you ask yourself, what the hay is RAS? You know how anorexics are skin and bones, yet when they look in the mirror...they see a fat person? Well, someone with RAS is a fat person that looks into the mirror and sees a thin person. Take myself for example...I can look in the mirror (my full length bedroom mirror) and think...okay, I'm no size 0, but even at size 16...I look fine (at least that's what I think I see). I go merrily along my way all the while thinking I look "fine". It's not until I see a photo of myself (and there's not many cause I'm usually the one taking the pictures) that I realize...OMG...that's not what I saw in the mirror! Is that what I "really" look like? Is that how others see me? How can this be? Is it my mirror or is it my mind? I really don't have a concrete answer.

While I am using a little humor here, I'm actually quite serious about my misconstrued body image. Usually, we women, have a negative body image. That is...we actually look fine, but pick apart our minor flaws...yet, here I am looking hideous, all the while feeling great about myself. I think I might have some answers though. If you look at most anorexics...they were once heavy/fat and even though they've lost dozens of pounds...they still see the heavier person they once were. In my case...I have always been thin/slender. As a kid, I was just a little string bean...in my teen years, I grew quite tall 5'9" but I barely topped 120 lbs. I was very tall and slender. After the birth of my first child (at age 21)...I did absolutely nothing to lose the 50 lbs I had gained during my pg...yet within a year, I was back to my "normal" weight. After the birth of my second baby some 8 yrs. later...I did hang on to an extra 10 lbs, but even at 130/135 lbs...I was still quite thin. However, something happened after #3 was born. I tacked on another 10-15 lbs. I wasn't really trying to lose the weight because I was still nursing and thinking of having one more child. Then, in 2001 my fourth and final baby was born. Since that time, I've lost 20 lbs...gained it back and pretty much stayed the same weight (with no diet or exercise) since then. Yet, I still see thin person when I look in the mirror. So, is it wishful thinking or is my perception that "off"?? IDK...

While I know I'll never be 120 lbs again...I do feel that a healthy weight for me is around 155 lbs (give or take a few). I guess the last photo I saw of myself finally snapped me into reality that if I don't do something soon...it won't be long before I break 200 lbs. (wow...that's a lot). I can no longer use the excuse that it's "baby" weight...I mean, sheesh...my baby's 7 years old already, LOL...I know it's going to take a lot of hard work and dedication to achieve the desired results. And while I have been working hard (I walked 36 miles in January and that's minus one week that I was sick with an URI) and 16 miles this week alone...I'm not seeing the results I so long for (the scale going DOWN)...in fact, my last weigh-in, it had gone up 1.4 lbs...talk about a blow. I'm hoping it's because I'm gaining muscle. Anyway, I know I'm being impatient...but I have to keep reminding myself that it took many, many years to accumulate this extra weight and it's gonna take some time to get it off.

I wish that I could just be satisfied/content with my body the way it is (fat)...but that's just not me. I'm like a thin person trapped in a fat body. Being thin was all I ever knew and I want to be that way again...because that's what I am. Holding my breath til next Wednesday's Weigh-In...

Chase's first Birthday Sleepover...

Well...Chase had his first Birthday sleepover last Friday night (Jan.30th). Since I was sick right before and right after his actual bday, we had to postpone it a couple weeks. Anyway, he had Mitchell, Austin, Brandon, Dante, Drake, Alec and Christopher over. We had hot dogs and chips...then we took the kids roller skating. Unfortunately, I never made it to the rink. I helped transport, but then I had to run to Kohl's to make a pmt and by the time I ran here and there, the session was over. I was sooooo tired and wiped out that day for some reason...Anyway, when we got home, he opened his presents from his friends and then we had cake and ice-cream. After that, the boys were on their own with the Xbox 360, DVDs and the pool table, LOL. We did have to go downstairs a couple times to quiet them down...but all in all they did pretty good. Got up Sat. morning and made them waffles and sausage! After that...we took a nap, LOL. Then, Saturday night, we went over to Tammi's for Sydney's 10th Birthday party. It was a lot of fun!
Anyway...I was so worried about Chase a few years ago cause he didn't have any friends (at least none that he ever invited over). He's such an outgoing kid, I couldn't figure out why he didn't have any friends...as Jimmy and Taylor always had dozens of friends even in pre-school. It was so fun watching him having a blast with all his buddies!!

The proof is in the pudding...

Mmmmm pudding...that sounds kinda good, LOL!! Okay...my first month of working out and trying to get fit is history now:

I did miss the week of the 11th because I was sick with a sinus infection and sore throat...but 4 weeks under my belt now (woohoo). Today I started 4 miles. It took me 73 minutes (10 of which were spent running). The idea is to get 4 miles in 60 minutes or less...as I plan on adding weight lifting and functional exercises soon and I'm trying to keep my total workout to an hour and a half per day (Sunday's off) until I reach my goal weight 155 lbs...at which point I will modify my workouts to more of a "maintainance" thing. I'm starting to sweat real good (you know the kind that really runs down your temples and cheeks) which is an indication that "fitness" is starting to happen!! I am really thinking about trying the Spring Run-Off 5k in March if I feel I'm up to it. Taylor said she'd run with me which is really sweet...then I don't have to cross the finish line in last place alone at least, LOL!!

Here's today's victory: